My Ongoing Work: Lessons in Patience

A lot has happened in the week or so since I last wrote!  Time seems to move very slowly here, and I often struggle to fight my American bred impatience.  However, I can’t believe that I have already been here for three weeks (tomorrow)!  It is a little frustrating that I have been here for almost a month without even receiving clearance to start research, but then I reflect on all of the things I have done and remind myself that I really have made progress. 

One thing that has really felt like an accomplishment has been the ability to cook more for myself.  I know it sounds silly and simple, but last week I made spaghetti sauce from scratch and I felt like I had really done something big!  I have also made hamburgers and homemade fries, curried lentils, and some tasty pbjhb (peanut butter and jelly and honey and banana) concocotions.  During my last trip to the market I bought ingredients for squash soup, chili, and mock alfredo sauce (made with laughing cow cheese!).  This morning, I learned how to make Tikka Degen like a real Malian woman!  I spent all morning at Yaya’s with his wife, Assitan.  She taught me to make the peanut sauce (which is really not that tough) and some yummy ginger juice that is really zesty and refreshing.  Next week, I am supposed to prepare sauce by myself she says.  That will really be an accomplishment!  I love that she is teaching me this stuff, because my host family didn’t give me much of a chance when I was here before.  I also think I’m even more interested during this trip in learning as much about how to “be Malian” as I can J

I have also become more comfortable in my neighborhood as of late.  I have made friends with some guys who own an alimentation (small super market) around the corner, and I go there to get milk, yogurt, and some basic groceries.  I have been avoiding the nutella, but I have a feeling I will crack soon… I also finally replaced my crappy old phone with one from a small electronics boutique between my house and Yaya’s.  I stop by and say hello to the guys there every time I walk to and from Yaya’s, and the other day I went there again and bought a nice wall clock that I gave to Yaya and Assitan as a belated wedding gift.  (It’s now hanging in their salon J)  I feel like my Bambara is beginning to improve slightly.  I have had 2 lessons with a Peace Corps instructor that I really like, and I am trying to learn little by little- a couple words every day.  I can’t help but feel impatient about my (lack of) progress with language, though.  I just want to be able to do it!

Though I really enjoy my neighborhood these days, I am hoping to take steps to move into a new place soon.  I am looking for more independence, a sense of ownership over my space, and a level of comfort that I have yet to find at the mission where I am staying.  Also, I feel strongly that I want to be viewed as an independent worker, and not associated with missionaries who stay here during their (often brief) trips to Mali.  I have nothing but positive things to say about the people I have met through the mission, but I don’t think it will help my work to be associated with the missionary community, and I also just do not feel entirely comfortable with the goals and realities of mission trips to Mali.  I have come to love being close to Yaya, and I am looking around the area (very slowly, of course) for potential houses or apartments that are available.  There is one near Yaya that sounds perfect, but I don’t really even know if it’s available and I haven’t seen it yet, so I don’t want to get too excited.  There are also days when I am seriously tempted to move over to a different neighborhood (where Daline lived) where I’d have some American neighbors, a great tailor, and easy access to lots of restaurants and markets. 

Though I haven’t found a place, during the past week, I have visited my first potential house (far too big and far too distant from any friends/major sites), met with a man who is supposed to help find me a car, and started the ball rolling on a room to rent in Banankoro so I can stay in the village while I do research.  Things are moving pretty slowly in Banankoro and with actual research preparation in general.  I went last week to spend time with Assana in Banankoro and he gave me a big walking tour of the village.  I met the chief, the mayor and his secretary, the directors of the public school, and several school teachers.  Assana also took me to the private school where he is director.  Students there pay about $5 a month to attend class in a tiny dirt room where they are 2 to a desk.  However, at the public school, they would likely find themselves in class with 100 other students, rather than 30 something present in each grade at the private school. 

I have been discussing the actual prenatal education program a lot with Dantouma (my doctor colleague, the program facilitator).  He recently gave me a financial report for more background and I found out that they have exhausted all the funding that Nora secured through grants.  Thus, the community health workers (“relais”) are no longer getting their salaries, which explains a downturn in the number of women enrolled in the program and a lack of relais participation at the last weekly meeting (2 of 5 were present).  I am a little nervous about what this will mean for my research.  I feel as though the community is looking to me for guidance for funding, and I want to be able to help make the program more sustainable, but I need to stick first to my primary goal of evaluation.  I met my official Fulbright affiliate this week (a very nice and intelligent doctor and professor of public health), and he agrees.  It is just frustrating that the program I am here to evaluate is sort of dying before my eyes.  This makes me all the more impatient to start my work, but my advisor does not even expect me to submit my ethics proposal until mid November!  If nothing else, I am learning to have patience!

To keep myself busy and feel productive during this “waiting game” I have started teaching English a few days a week to Malian professionals.  I teach at a private school near the embassy that is owned by a German- American teacher (MA in Edu) and an Australian academic (Phd).  They are great women who know Mali pretty well and the students are interesting—many are professionals who have employers paying their tuition, and they are all really interested and motivated to learn this new (and difficult) language.  I have taught for two days so far and really enjoyed it.  Teaching is tiring, though!  After 3 hours of one on one time, I am glad to be done.  I am not getting paid much, but I am hoping that this activity will lend some structure to my days and help me feel more accomplished.  I have also already met some great people through this new “job.”

So, although I don’t always feel like I’m progressing toward any particular end, I realize (even while writing all of this) that I really have made some good steps in a positive direction.  As a friend reminded me, I will realize at some point just how much progress I have made during the times I felt like I was merely treading water and staying afloat.  And I am working on an ongoing and important lesson in the practice of patience!  Petit à petite, dooni dooni, little by little, it will all come together!